3 months of Denial and Milking Training

It's been a long time since i've posted anything on this blog, but Mistress Luchia and i have been been playing again.
i have learned of a website over the summer, thanks to the wonder of the reddit community, called milovana. It has a lot of web teases, and one of them caught my interest. i showed it to Mistress and she took that one, along with a few others and combined them into one long training session for me.

i am not allowed to cum for a whole of 3 months which started at the end of August. i gave myself entirely to her for the 3 month period during my milking training, and am now her absolute slave in a Female Led Relationship.

The milking training happens once a week, and i am only allowed to cum if i can do it anally. Mistress will massage my prostate and fuck my ass until she is tired, or until i can successfully leak and dribble cum out of my cock for her, where it will be kept and stored.

so far it's been a month. 3 milking sessions! and tonight is the 4th milking night. i haven't had any success at all so far with my milkings, and i haven't cum at all.
Talk about being constantly aroused! i'm going crazy.
i thought that the chastity period before our wedding was hard, but this has proven to be much more difficult.

Mistress has been kind in that i have been let out of my cage periodically for days at a time. currently i'm out of it right now. This is for many reasons, but basically i only get put in my cage when i really can't control myself to keep from jacking off. i do it sometimes without even thinking about it.

i'll update this blog regularly for any of those who are interested in the progress. Maybe even convince Mistress to help me out with posting pictures.

this is going to be a long 2 months to go. i'm hoping for success with my milking tonight.

For now though, it's time to go start dinner, and then to work more on my Mistress's new necklace. i've taken the key to my cage and am working it into a necklace. i'll post pictures of that for sure once it's finished.

Have fun out there everyone. ;D

Chastity is painful in a way I had never expected

"AAARGGGG!"

A quote from my Mistress, Luchia.

You see, neither of us are used to spending so very much time without touching ourselves. She has been keeping herself from cumming as well for this month. She's better at it mentally than I am, so she doesn't need the chastity belt.

However this previous weekend she came to visit, and let me out for the weekend. She is a kind Mistress. I was relieved because I was dying to have a real shower! She did one better though. She touched me, and teased me. She stroked me and ran her fingers up and down my penis, and oh how sensitive it is now!

I was absolutely amazed at the amount of sensitivity I had regained in the skin in just 14 days of it not touching my pants, or rubbing against anything at all!

We played several times that day. Both of us. I made her cum. We didn't actually have any penetrating sex. We want to save that for when we're actually married. I mean, we've done it before, but the point of this month is to make it very special, and tease each other relentlessly! While we didn't have any penetration, we did do some grinding. I was on top of her and slid my penis downward across her sex, and to my surprise, I actually CAME that way!

That's never happened before. The TOP of my dick has never been sensitive enough to feel... well, anything! To cum with just contact with that was AMAZING!

She came a couple more times under my hands, and we spent so much time in each others arms afterwards that it was hard to part.

All this play came at a price though. We are both as raw and as sore as can be! Everything hurts!! I have what is comparable to a papercut all along the bottom side of my shaft, and all around the head of my circumsized penis, just behind the head, is red, and raw, and I even got a blister!

She isn't fairing much better with her lips and labia.

So, with all that being said, we did some talking about the next two weeks. You see, we wanted to do this so that we would be sensitive and receptive to each other on our honeymoon. But we do NOT want to play on the first night of being married, and then not be able to have sex again for a week because we need to HEAL, and walk around funny because we hurt so much!

So she let me off the hook with my CB device to give me time to heal up. Believe me, I won't be touching myself any time soon.

Has anyone else had this trouble? Male or female?

I'm off to get some more Neosporin.

Ow!

A slow build

I've found that my balls are a bit swollen after not cumming for so long. I just have to wait it out. She let me out last week and teased me until getting me off by hand. I had gone for 4 days that time, and I shot a load bigger than she'd ever seen! That was fun to hear the "Ohh wooow!!" come from her. She was having all kinds of fun, and so was I!

The ball discomfort isn't so bad really. It comes and goes. For me anyway. I've never really gotten blue balls before though. (Maybe I masturbated too often.)

I have also been thinking that once I take this off, my sack will probably hang lower than before. It used to be safely tucked up into my body most of the day while I worked and did stuff, but now they're proudly on display no matter what I'm doing! They can't retreat into my body at all!! So I'm wondering what they'll look like once the month is over... I asked Luchia what she thought about that and she said "Well, it's your body. If you're ok with it then I don't mind." I guess we'll see.

All I know right now is that they are far more sensitive than they've ever been before. I find myself stroking them in the evening before bed. When I take showers I hold the water on them for prolonged periods of time, and it feels phenomenal.

I've also caught myself leaning my crotch into things during the day. Counter tops, doors, chairs. When I'm cleaning something by the sink or leaning over a table to grab things, just that small bit of pressure is enough to send my insides aglow. I have never had such a low level arousal stay with me all. day. long before.

I mean, I have always been horny all day. I always have the desire to cum, but it was different. Normally my arousal is more piercing. "I have to jack off nooow!" and I will, and it'll be done with for a while. What I'm experiencing now is like a slow burning ember deep in the base of my testicles. It's like tantric sex. I can feel the slow build just sitting there, waiting to release.

Soon enough. I just have to be patient.

A new feeling of jealously

I never thought I would be jealous of the ability to pee standing up, until my coworker went into the bathroom and I could hear him doing just that.
"Right now, I couldn't accomplish that if I tried," I thought. My cage felt very heavy, but there was also a flutter of peace. An understanding of my female counterparts who go through the same thing.
I'm sorry for all of the times I've teased you by saying "you could if you really wanted to." Now I'm sure that I'm wrong.

Old dreams came back again.

Last night was painful.

I woke up 3 times. The first was a normal nocturnal erection. It hurt, but it subsided after I massaged my balls for a bit.

The second was a much worse erection. This sent me running though. It wouldn't go away. And I've modified the cage a bit so I had something that was wrong.

See without the screw the penis section of the cage can flop around a bit. this leads not only to discomfort, but also in the possibility of me falling out of it!! That not only would break my promise, but it would also be very awkward if it happened in public. So I added some zip ties to hold it together.

You can see the one I put on last night highlighted a bit.

What I had put on before was far too tight for nocturnal erection strength. I had to cut them off and try again. After a couple of tries I finally got one that would keep me locked in, but wouldn't be dangerously tight either.

I went back to sleep, but it wasn't a deep sleep. Obvious because of the dreams... I don't remember much, but I do know that I was naked, and I was driving down the road. I kept dodging my head away from oncoming traffic so that they wouldn't see me. I was ashamed. 

I had to cum though. I Needed to cum! I was masturbating while I drove. Furiously masturbating. The car was swirving off the road some and I started careening over the edge! My left hand swung the wheel while my right jerked my cock. It was a mix of fear and release! I was so close!! The car was held onto the road by only two wheels, and somehow I managed to right it.

Not for long though. An oncoming tractor trailer started honking it's horn at me and I swerved again, this time the tires lost grip as I tried to avoid a sign, and I fell of the edge down an impossibly deep canyon next to the road. 

I was so. close. to cumming... 

If I had just a moment more to fall!

But I didn't.. I woke up, my right hand cupping my swollen balls.

My Mistress, Luchia, says she thinks that I'll go through the symptoms of withdrawal over the next month. I hope that's not the case. I don't want to feel all of those things. But Who knows... I haven't had a dream like that since I had first discovered myself at the age of 10. I masturbate too much normally to have DREAMS of masturbation.

I have to go to work. I'll keep both hands on the wheel.

Day 1

The first night was torture.

I tried to sleep, but my erections felt like they would never subside! I would toss and turn and moan and whimper. My hands found their way to my exposed and swollen balls and grabbed them, trying to massage them and get them to convince my cock to retreat back into it's smaller state once again.

This happened several times last night. I would eventually fall asleep, only to be woken again by a raging hard on pushing at the inside of my plastic prison. Yet I couldn't help but smile. This was my doing, and it was for my Lover. The cage was like the hand of my Mistress Luchia, and she was the one who would eventually set me free, just like she had before in so many ways.

The morning eventually came, even if I didn't. I got up and used the toilet. This takes much longer than it used to before my cage. Having to clean around every small area inside and out is time consuming. But I'm sure I'll get the hang of it eventually.
I got ready for work. Got into my truck and drove away from the safety of my house.

I was nervous.

My pants don't show too much of anything. They're loose enough to hide my added mass, but it doesn't stop me from being nervous.

Mistress says it's because I know something is different, and so I expect others to know too. But they won't know unless I show them. It doesn't stop me from feeling anxious about the close proximity to so many people who know me while I have a swinging weight and padlock between my legs!

For the most part the day went as normal though. I got a few erections. They were as painful as they had been the night before. Some when I would start over thinking what had happened over the weekend. One when I was standing a particular way and my balls brushed very sweetly over the inside of my underpants. And a couple for no reason at all. Those were the most frustrating!

Aside from those setbacks I did fairly well. I have to get out of the truck a different way than what I'm used to. The cage has a large lump on the bottom of it that pokes into my scrotum, and it's the only part of the cage that I can really feel. It pinched me a few times, but I'm not sure if it's something that I'll get used to, or if I'll have to do something about it...

It was about half way through the day when I thought that this would be something worth documenting online. Luchia had suggested that we make a video about the beginning, showing my excitement for the month to come. "That way you'll remember that YOU asked for this," she told me with a grin.

I will see my Lover on Thursday, and she says that if I'm good, she might let me out.
Might...

I don't know what I've gotten myself into, but I do hope that the days pass quickly.

It's time for bed now. I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow, and I'm sure I won't get much sleep.

Trial and Error

I like to build things.
There are a lot of tools that I know how to use, and even when I don't know exactly how to use them, I do a pretty good job with figuring out how to do things the hard way.

I set to work Thursday morning trying to design a well fashioned cock cage in my mind. I did some research online to figure out some designs, and then made a plan.
A trip to the hardware store that night proved to be very useful. I had several different sections of pvc pipe! I had some small nuts. I already had my drill and other tools, and I could use the heat from the stove to melt things. All would go well!

This wasn't how things went at all...

As you can see, things didn't quite work out. After an evening of burnt fingers, smoke detectors going off, and several sections of ruined pipes, the clock struck midnight, and I decided that it would be better to just go and buy one.

I was meeting with Luchia the very next morning, so there wasn't much time to waste! I looked up the operating hours of the local toy and porn shop and, to my surprise they opened at 8am! Perfect!

I woke up early to get everything done that I needed to do. Switching out vehicles, going to the bank, getting coffee! (and then later, more coffee.)
Finally, at 745 I saw that their sign already had the bright neon glow of the "open" sign shining out of their front window.

Running inside I went straint for the "bondage" room. I'd been here plenty of times before, and knew right where it would be.

I had never looked for this type of device before though... so I had no idea what to look for really, except for what I had seen online.

In a glass case there were several versions of the cb-6000. They shined, they glimmered, they looked amazing... and they were one-hundred and seventy-five dollars.

Ouch.
I didn't like this at all. We're planning for a wedding and I can't spend that much.
So I looked at another one in a different display. The black plastic cage design of the Master Series "Captive Confinement Cage." only eighty-five dollars.

The problem though, is that it only locks with a screw. There's no lock.

I mentioned the possibility of using a master lock on this piece to the store clerk, and he gave me a discount on the cage. Now it was only seventy dollars! He told me to take it to a locksmith.

Reminds me of a movie I saw once...

I dashed off into the car and drove the hour and a half to where my lover and I were to meet! It was a wonderful morning. We acquired our wedding rings, and she got a peak at her gift.

She'd known I was getting her something of course. I hinted at it the night before, but I wanted to tease her. She seemed much more excited about it than I'd anticipated. What amazing joy!

Over the weekend I tried it on. For two days I wore it, without cumming. It did pose some problems. The first ring I tried was too large, and if fell off. Also, without a lock, there was no fun.

I went to 4 different hardware stores before finally finding a braided wire shackle Master lock at Wal*Mart. Just in the nick of time too, or else there would have been no lock at all!

She was warming up to the idea more and more, and seemed to like the thought of being my keyholder, and so did I. I was beside myself with excitement. Although even after wearing the belt for two days, I wasn't expecting what happened when the lock went on.

A decision made.

My Lover and I made a pact.

One month before our wedding we would remain celibate from each other. It wouldn't be easy we both knew, for we'd grown accustomed to our great sex life, however we want our honeymoon to be something special. We want to discover each other all over again.

I made the extra promise that I would not masturbate for the duration either. To her, this is no great task. Women always seem to have an easier time with holding off. For me...

3 days.
It was Wednesday of last week that I gave into my baser desires. For me, to cum isn't just a desire, or a craving, it's a physical need. A strong yearning much like intense hunger, or thirst. I think it's the same for most men. There's just something about having a full body of cum that cries out for release! This was no excuse though. I had made a promise.

I've broken promises before.
I've broken so many promises that I had begun to forget what the word meant. But that was before. Before her. Before my Lover. Before Luchia.
It's a fitting name she's taken for herself, Luchia. She's brought me into the light from where I was before. I used to break promises. My Mistress gives me reason to keep them.

Our relationship has been built on a solid foundation of trust. We have been sharing secrets with each other for years now. Before we were Lovers. She and I have shared many things since as well, and never once have I broken a promise to her, nor she to me!

Understand now why my heart was heavy when I broke my promise to her.

Before I would have shrugged my shoulders. I would have moved on and tried again.

But that was before.

This is a new relationship built on something stronger than the last.

I had made a new promise in my head. A new idea to make things up to her. I would give her the ultimate gift that I knew how to give.

I would give her control over a piece of me which I could not control on my own.